p5 essay fund

1. The sky is reddened by a typical Midwestern sunset.

2. The sky begins clouding over just before dusk.

3. But no threat of rain can stop something.

Just before dusk, the sky typically clouds and reddens into a Midwestern sunset, but a threat of rain won’t stop something like this.

4. Twenty thousand rock fans flock to Cincinnati’s River-front Coliseum.

5. They are coming to see and hear Pink Floyd.

20,000 rock fans are flocking to come see and hear Pink Floyd at Cincinnati’s River-front Coliseum.

6. The concert is still three hours off.

7. The concert has already attracted early birds.

8. There are several thousand of them.

9. They are all decked out.

10. They are wearing their best rock-concert, faded blue jeans.

11. They are wearing their best rock-concert, tie-dyed T-shirts.

12. They are all keyed up for the high-energy Pink Floyd show.

Still three hours off, the concert has attracted several thousand early birds–all keyed up for the high energy Pink Floyd shirt

13. There are newcomers to the rock scene.

14. Their newness is obvious.

15. They wander about.

16. They gawk at the others.

17. They are conspicuous.

18. They wear neatly pressed checked slacks.

19. They wear expensive shirts.

Wearing neatly pressed checked slacks and expensive shirts, the obvious newcomers to the rock scene wander about and gawk conspicuously at the others.

20. There are loners.

21. Their eyes are barely open.

22. Their arms dangle uselessly at their sides.

23. They weave aimlessly around the circles.

24. The squinting is so they can steady themselves.

Eyes barely open, the loners weave aimlessly around the circles–arms dangling uselessly at their sides, squinting so they can steady themselves.

25. There are couples.

26. They cling to each other.

27. They are near fountains or in remote corners.

There are the clingly couples near the fountains or in remote corners.

28. There are real police.

29. They are not the rent-a-cop breed.

30. They stride confidently.

31. They stride in large groups.

32. They stride among the crowd.

33. They twirl their billyclubs.

34. They sweep their eyes over the area,

35. They look for trouble.

There are real-deal police not the rent-a-cop breed, striding confidently in groups among the crowd twirling their billyclubs and sweeping their eyes over the area looking for trouble.

36. Hawkers call out.

37. They call wherever there are crowds.

38. They try to unload cheap T-shirts.

39. They try to unload pennants.

40. They draw only laughter from most concert goers.

The hawkers call out wherever there are crowds, drawing only laughter from the crowds as they unloading cheap t-shirts and pennants and 

41. The numbers grow.

42. There are circles of roamers, couples, and cops.

43. Roamers swarm confusedly over the acres of concrete.

44. Couples swarm confusedly over the acres of concrete.

45. Cops swarm confusedly over the acres of concrete.

46. The acres of concrete that lead up to the auditorium.

As the numbers grow, circles of confused roamers, couples, and cops form over the concrete leading up to the auditorium.

 47. The management realizes something.

48. The hordes can no longer be contained peacefully.

49. Then, the doors open.

50. Waves of fans pour into the coliseum.

51. They are already tired from waiting.

52. They are already sweaty from waiting.

53. They are just in time for something.

54. They wait out the final hour before the show.

Management realizes that the hordes can’t be contained peacefully as the doors open and waves of fans pour in already tired and sweaty from waiting, as they are just in time to wait for the final hour before the show.

~Sleeping is the wakening of the unconscious, embracing of the darkness, hibernation of the brain, and refreshing of the mind.

 ~Sleeplessness creates chaos, paranoia, depression, and unhappiness.  

 ~Sleep well, sleep comfortably, and sleep regularly.

 ~People have to sleep, eat, and poop.

 ~Sleep is reversible, restoring, and necessary.

Intelligence 

            Intelligence is an objective term for measuring the hypothetical understanding of the world, concrete knowledge, planning, problem solving, learning, and almost an infinite amount of other factors. Many people brag about have a high Intelligence Quotient (IQ) when in fact all IQ tests are prejudice and rarely give a correct measure of your overall understanding. For someone to devise a test which accurately measures intelligence they would have to take into effect every variation in culture, grouping, history, thinking, language, genetics, environment, and many other differences. This, of course, is as impossible as acquiring an infinite intelligence.

            Measuring intelligence is wrong because it is a way to discriminate against set groups, which may perceive or group things differently then the society sees it. IQ tests would give certain people low scores and this could be an excuse to not hire, promote, or acknowledge them. Being intelligent or striving to learn is a good trait, but when people want to manufacture numbers which are suppose to correlate to how smart you are, the results will be skewed. Humans are known for categorizing (heuristics vs. algorithms) in order gain a better and faster understanding. This can be okay for inanimate things, but when dealing with complex and aware creatures, such as humans, it doesn’t work. Grouping people is wrong and will lead to misjudging or hurting them. Intelligence isn’t who people are, but one of the many things that make up the whole human.

            Historically intelligence and the teaching establishments of America have been extremely ineffective. After the American Revolution the government, schools, economy, and jobs were organized and developed to promote the majority of the population, white males (at that time). This gave white males higher test scores, more job opportunities, and a better basic education. The first usable intelligence tests were invented in the early 20^th century by Alfred Binet and Theodore Simon and published by Stanford. It was named the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale and is the basis of all IQ tests today. The test was invented to place children in appropriate level classrooms and make sure immigrants could be successful in American industries. Many people did not like immigrants because they took jobs away. Because the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale did not take into effect language barriers and cultural differences immigrants received low scores. This was a way for the general public to lash out against immigrants. Many immigrants couldn’t get jobs, homes, or any opportunities because they scored low on a bias IQ test.

            One of the best ways to learn is from trail and error, and the education facilities and IQ tests have been altered in this way. Today IQ tests do a better job of measuring your intelligence then they did fifty or a hundred years ago. IQ tests are not, and will probably never be perfected, but progress has been made. A popular modern day theory used in most tests is multiple intelligences, or that intelligence can be broken up into many categories. The theory states that for every task you have an intelligent level. Someone could be a prodigious mathematician, and would have a high intelligence for this task, but also have a low intelligence for language and vocabulary. IQ tests used today take advantage of this theory, but can’t take every last task into effect. The test averages out scores to get a general intelligence labeled with a single number. There are many factors that are extremely hard to design around like anxiety, disorders (mental and physical), varied perspectives, and many previously stated.

            The standards for intelligence are continuously changing or evolving with our current life style, new technology, the environment, and what new knowledge we have to work with. If the founding fathers were to take today’s IQ test, they would be classified as retarded because the environment, technology, and knowledge when they grew up was different then today’s. IQ test scores have been going up consistently 0.3 IQ points each year because schools adapt and teach how to successfully take tests better (Flynn Effect). The scores don’t go up because people are getting smarter, but rather because people learn how to take the tests. This shows the faults of measuring intelligence, people living in an environment that stresses on high IQ scores will learn to better take the test, not because they are smarter, but because they learn to organize their knowledge in relationship with the test. Intelligence is something that every person should strive to acquire, but not something that should be measured. Intelligence is a single word or number and will never be able to describe someone’s entire being.

1) A rant is a humorous, knowledgeable, angry speech with a passion for complaint. It needs to have expletives every once and a while. It needs to be controversial and meaningful, wild and relatable, something that some find offensive and others just laugh at. It has to have a point even if lost in the ramble.

2) It has made the web a place seen by some as “bilious discourse and sloppy writing”. People attack one another at the slightest provocation because the oral rant is less and less common. He says that because the distasteful and “artless” rants found on the internet are causing people to dismiss the classic art of the rant. The rant is losing its meaning.

3) Yes it hits almost all of these points. He uses all of these to help make his definition of a rant more rounded to fit into any and all situations.

4) “Some of the first rants of the modern era.” He uses many examples and the history of the rant to show what he likes and dislikes in a rant. His examples show how to make a successful rant and tell us what he finds a rant to be. There are good and bad ones, but without some good rants can help convey a complaint in a way that others can laugh and be passionate on the issue.

5) A good and bad rant is all based on content and timing. You need to be effective in conveying your point and keeping it within certain boundaries. The world is a harsh and mean place, but a rant, although angry, expletive, and passionate, does not have to make someone feel bad or unhappy. It can cause one to laugh or have a dialog of “angry” comments.

Happiness is an objective term which can be changed to fit an individual’s view on it. I find happiness to be a time in which I feel no other emotions and am content with the mental and physical state I am currently in. The best way to become happy is to do things which keep you active and doing things which you enjoy. One activity which makes me happy is just resting or taking a break from the hassle of daily work and in during this rest I let my mind wonder to anything it wants. The best way to stay happy is to live, be active, interacting.

            One time I felt truly happy was when I found a song I had heard sometime in my early childhood. I listened to the song and emotions came back, but I could not remember the memories connected with the emotions. I stayed in this euphoric state for the duration of the song and I felt happy. Happiness felt like a draining of current worries and emotions and replacing them with an out of body feeling which allows you to be content with your current state of mind and body.

The hook of this piece was an assumption of what the author’s grandmother would have said in the instance. “The height of the Florida land rush, she was working in a real-estate office in Palm Beach. Times were flush and sales were booming.” It starts off as a nice, wonderful, happy story of the author’s grandma and her life. It continues into the happing of a silver dollar, “Artist had cemented in a shiny silver dollar… one morning my grandmother and her colleagues arrived at the office to discover that someone had chiseled the silver dollar right out of the floor.” This transitions the story from happy rich people to desperate poor people using a showing not telling section. The silver dollar was a fact/detail which put the situation into perspective. It gave hope, showed the hardship, and made a light transition from happy to sad. This piece generates interest by making short stories connect to a whole purpose which combines the great depression with today. The story continues to involve the reader, “Start right now. Tell us your story.” This has the reader question how this essay relates to their life and what they can do to learn from the story. The ending brings the story full circle putting our grand-parents and their experiences into our life and how we should take from their examples and create something new from something old.

1. My stomach grumbled in pain and my mouth watered as I gazed at the steaming bread with a cinnamon glaze that had just come out of our oven and was sitting right below my nose too hot to eat.
2. Monkeys started jumping up and down going crazy at my arrival, I watched in bewilderment as they began to attack each other in a war of food, one threw a banana at me and I dodged, the other slipped on the discarded peel.
3. She was watching channel 13 news as her sister came up behind and stole the remote changing the TV to cartoons, the sisters began to push each other in order to claim the remote as their own.

1. I retreated to my house as I saw a huge black vortex of clouds twirling in the sky, the winds kicked up and debris were flying everywhere, I gazed at the storm in its majestic power.
2. The teacher was forty minutes into his lecture and half the class had fallen asleep; I hoped that there would be some reprieve from his monotonous voice and the dull topic of photosynthesis.
3. My vision was blurred as I sped down the road late for work, I saw the image of a clown for a split second before I heard a thump, and I stopped the car and found a lifeless clown lying in his own crimson blood.

1)      Rittenberg starts his essay with a paragraph that people can relate to. He is just pondering what he should do over his weekend and stumbles upon a controversial and social issue, the future.

2)      He uses worldwide or national events which affected everyone. Many issues such as wars, pandemics, segregation, and destructive technology that his grandparents and many others have seen. These examples show that even when humanity is struggling either with itself or from outside forces it will overcome making a better tomorrow.

3)      He relates the problems and solutions of the past with current day problems without solutions. He says that there is hope and there will be a better world after we have overcome the new obstacles. The specifics help to personalize the essay and create fact based reasoning.

4)      The title illustrates the main theme of the essay. Also he reiterates that theme many times. He surrounds his essay with ideas, facts, and hope that the title and theme will come true.

In this I believe was an interesting essay. She tells the story of her life which connects with the digital world. Her experiences with the digital world have caused her to fall in love with analog. She found her husband, house, and job with a computer. She has found out through experience that sometimes doing things the old way with extra work can give more back. She feels that the world might be too connected with electronics but I think you can live without them. Her essay is inspiring, truthful, and full of anecdotes. It is relatable and effective in showing what she wants us to hear.

            My writing career consists of all or mostly teacher assigned projects. I have always been more math and science inclined. Despite having this type of personality I do enjoy reading a good book and listening to arguments, poetry, or persuasion. Although many of these are my favorite pastimes, I have never been much of a writer.

            One experience with writing that I have had is when I wrote my college essays. This was challenging because of the nature of the writing. I found it difficult to write about myself in these essays. Although it was difficult I did the essays and had many teachers and peers read them. After coming to the final copy I read them all one last time. As I read them I could see how far I had come in my writing career. I thought back to some of my first papers when I would get corrections from my teachers. My first papers would always have incorrect sentences, because I used adjectives multiple times for emphasis.

            My independent writing is non-existent. I wish that I was more into writing for myself and for fun. I feel that writing is a necessary skill to have in life. Without it you are at a disadvantage. Writing is a great creativity outlet and can open many doors. Traditional writing teachers make students follow exactly guidelines which restricts the creativity of the student’s pieces. I feel that writing is an objective thing and teachers should promote that creativity.